he’s just drafting

I was walking to work this morning when this 6″2 dude with square jaw and strong chin came out of nowhere. he’s dragging a luggage plus a laptop bag but he was outwalking me. I generally walk pretty fast but this guy was outpacing me so i tried to keep up by walking immediately behind him to minimise air resistance. After walking like that for a while he noticed and asked me why i was walking so close behind him and i told him i was drafting. He just went “oh ok” and kept on going. After even more he arrived at an office building and was greeted by a stacy who asked me who i was. Chad said i was just drafting as i said thank you and kept walking. In the distance i heard stacy said “something something weirdo” and Chad said “he’s just drafting”.

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going in a different direction

A company I was interested in just flew me out for an interview. It was on the other side of the country so they paid for my flight and hotel. Unfortunately, the interview went disastrously. I blew every question and I could tell that they didn’t like me personally.

When I got to the airport for my return flight, I was unable to get my boarding pass. The agent told me that my ticket was cancelled by the buyer for a partial refund. Despite my persistence, they assured me that there wasn’t a mistake.

I called the company to tell them there was a mix-up, but they just told me they decided they would “going in a different direction”. I told them I was fine that I didn’t get the job, but I didn’t have a flight home. They just repeated the same “going in a different direction” phrase and told me they couldn’t help me. After calling back 3 or 4 times, they told me to stop harassing them.

I’m completely broke due to poor financial decisions (that’s a different story), so I can’t afford a last minute plane ticket. It doesn’t help that this is a small airport, so ticket prices are high. So basically I’ve been stuck at the airport for the past 3 days. Yesterday, my credit card started being declined, so I’ve had to eat scraps from other customers.

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jessica alba table read

the only good S&S story i have is from going to one in venice.  jessica alba was in line and a friend of mine told me she was at a table read for some movie w/ jessica alba, jon hamm, and some other people.  i guess jalba is functionally illiterate so the table read was incredibly slow and tedious.  they broke for coffee and some ppl were standing around w/ jon hamm but no one was saying anything and then jon hamm broke the silence by saying, “boy that jessica alba sure can’t read.”

Categories: Reality

toontown also this way

In his book, simulacra and simulacrum, Jessie bellaired said that the meaning of signs are not innate, but socially constructed. Toontown also this way. In his novel, the stranger, Alvin cameo writes about a man who has depression probably. Toon town players can also have this. Ken Mark speaks, In his seminal work the communist manefesto, about a specter haunting Europe. In the haunted mansion, there are many specters.

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workplace halloween

Virtually no one is our office dressed up, which I wasn’t expecting but it made sense. It was me, one new girl who wore a kitty ear headband and a set of cheap fairy wings, and several of my female managers, all of whom went all out. Everyone in my office has strong resentment for our managers for reasons mentioned above and I ended up winning the vote because of it. (The headband girl won 2nd).

I was told that I’d be sent my prize via direct deposit yesterday. I did not, and instead got an email explaining that I was being terminated for abuse of the office dress code. When I called my manager for clarification, she said that my costume clearly violated dress code. After I asked what rule it was that I broke she told me that “I knew what it was” and was hung up on.

Categories: Reality

the juice of Bats and Supes

Basically I was watching the trailer the other night with my girlfriend’s fourteen year old half hispanic son. When it ends he’s just like whatever about it and I’m super stoked.

I close my laptop and I’m trying to get him to feel the juice of Bats and Supes and he doesn’t even make eye contact and just starts dicking around with his phone. So I grab him by the shirt and I say “That Son of a Bitch brought the war to us!” in my best Bats right in his face.

There was a tussle, I thought we were just horsing around but apparently I took it too far. I’m kind of in the dog house but I also feel like I’m kind of in the right because this movie looks amazing and I think most families would enjoy acting out Bats vs Supes. Are kids just not into this stuff anymore?

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cool david grohl story

cool david grohl story: a guy i know got drunk at a bar and met a guy who claimed to be dave grohl. the guy took him back to his house and got in the hottub with him and stroked him off and did gay shit to him claiming it was okay because he was dave grohl. Well he wasn’t dave grohl

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i just want to be one of the guys

New jobs going great, reintegration into society is rough & making a lot of friends but its so painful. Every coworker has Whatsapp, first thing I did after I remember I had it installed was change my pic from Adolf hitler to a “cool” selfie. Think like “The c00L Guy” mixed with a bit of cold seriousness. Lol. Working on fake lahghs on master chief collection lobbies, someone at the kuerig machine will reference the office or colbert vid the next day etc, have to come off genuine ive fucked this up before by looking to jaded. “AaHhaha whats wrong newguy, no sense of humor??? How about i toss a phantom fireworks smokebomb into the upstairs lounge, flushing u all out downstairs into the snackroom where im waiting w a modded M1A socom that accept drum mags lmfao, i will fucking laugh genuinly then. til then its just agonizing ‘ahah’ and chuckles when someone brings up how some qb ive never heard of fumbles a ball. hard to turn the convo into how about ghost in the shell was fromfucking 1995, and look at the world now, I usually get a meme on my whatsapp and I reply w/ “Lel” or ‘lulz where u find this shit ‘ (pretending to not know eveyrhting), lmaooo, etc, every kek killing me inside slowly, like being a MGS4 clone, but instead its a cutcopy of someone from society., i just want to be one of the guys.

Categories: Fiction, Reality  /  Tags:

Vendetta Bladeswallow

Vendetta Bladeswallow put the technology cube inside of the plasma duct. “The plasma duct normally takes 6.2 seconds to aetherfuse the cube,” she said. I nodded, since even a baby would know that a plasma duct can aetherfuse a technology cube in 6.2 seconds. “But I added a special cyberengine that makes it do the same thing in 5.8 seconds instead.” Her spacesuit was a sexy thong and you could see her boobs really well in it too.
“Holy shit!” I yelled. “That’s the fastest a technology cube has been aetherfused ever in the whole history of the universe!” It was true. If you tried to do it faster a bad portal would happen and lightning would shoot out.

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trip spacefuck

trip spacefuck put on his trusty space coat and readied his beams. “I wont let those PlekandooXankar scum get ahold of my math equation,” he said as he fired some of the beams that were ready. Not all of them. He still had 6 beams left. The spaceship holds 8 beams by the way.

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