Lol I can’t believe you actually think that place is good. Imo the only good subs in the Bay are at Retard Ricky’s Subs. God damn that man knows how to make a fucking sub. The other day my friend wanted to go to Faggot Frank’s and I just fucked stared at him for 10 minutes and then slowly backed away from him for 20 minutes straight. Well turns out I fell off the bay bridge at the 21st minute of backing away so I’m in the hospital now. Peace! Obama for change

Lol at everyone that said Nigger Neil’s Shitwater Tacos is anything but a fucking insipid mainstream trashhouse. I have some news for yall nobody makes a good Shitwater Taco in this town. You have to go to this other town to even have a chance at getting one, the town that’s not here. No I cant take you to that town they only let in people who arent complete fucking idiots. Meanwhile just eat your chipolte burritos and faggotfranks subs and think you are being indie while i suck down as much free vegan wifi hotspot as my gphone can use in little ernies shitwater tacos down in the south south south bay. oh word yall never heard of the south south south bay im not surprised.

I took a bite of my salad at Salad Faggot’s Faggot Salad House. I glanced down at my salad and froze in horror. I could feel everyone staring at me as I realized that I had put salad dressing on my salad. “Oh shit,” I mumbled as salad chunks dribbled down my chin. How could I forget? Salad dressing was 2007, and this was 2008. Fuck. I gathered up my gPhone, iPod Touch, MacBook Gold, SunFuck Nancy, googleDick alpha, and Wetfoot Stringcube. I left the restaurant covered in salad and my head hung low. I couldn’t bring myself to make eye contact with anyone on the way home. I left a big puddle of salad and vegan basalmic vinegar on the bart but didnt even care. by the time i arrived at my eastbay studio i knew i didnt have long to live. as my last act on this earth, i collapsed in my kitchen, making a mess of my pots and pans. a cruel smile flickered across my face as my soul descended to hell. goodbye forever.