A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says

“Hey, don’t you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn’t you see the giant warning on the box?!”

“That’s OK” says the guy, puffing casually “I’m a computer programmer”

“So? What’s that got to do with anything?”

“I’m the world’s gayest and most retarded piece of shit. I’m so pathetic and no one likes me. I smell really bad all the time and I hate eating vegetables but I love computers sooo much… my tiny ichthyosis dick gets hard when it sees a fresh new computer screen or high tech gadget”