My big brother makes my life a living hell. I didnt think it could get worse than my senior prom when he broke into the school gym during a slowdance number I was really looking forward too and started giving me a pinkbelly in the middle of the dance until I was bleeding and had a panic attack. I could tell he had been smelling bag gasoline, but everyone said he smelled cool and liked how weird his eyes were. I got blood on my rental tux and my parents said I had to pay the bill. THey are always taking his side.

Fastforward to tonight. I was excited to take my first real girlfriend home to meet my parents. I had been planning a big dinner all week. Lo and behold, my big brother shows up with a Real Anal Whore. My wonderful gf is trying to make conversation, but the Anal Whore just kept moaning while my big brother bragged about her “juicy gaper” and “how many knuckles he could fit in that bad boy.” I’m trying to tell the story about how we started dating that’s really sweet, but my big brother was letting my dad smell the Real Anal Whore’s ass and saying “Bet you wish you had that for dinner.” My big brother is too strong, so all I can do is vent, thanks.