nicholas cage plays himself as nicholas cage and he wakes up one morning and the whole country suddenly hates him and he freaks out a lot and says like “why does everybody hate me” in a cage voice and he goes on the run and his only sidekick is this 15 year old ironic tumblr girl and shes the only person that likes him still and they have disguise adventures and narrowly avoid death at the hands of the mobs and theyre trying to make their way to DC to see the president and get answers and they finally get there (theres a falling out between them in the middle but they become friends again later) and it turns out the president did something really bad with policy and he pinned it all on cage and now cage is the enemy and the president laughs but it turns out the 15 year old girl was using her internet skills to broadcast the truth to the entire country and the president jumps out the window to his death (cage tries to save him and he says “You don’t need to do this”) and then fadeto black, time skip, and the tv is saying “president nicholas cage began his 4th consecutive term as president today, continuing our good times of prosperity” and he’s doing oval office biz in a president suit and he says to his assistant “karen can you get the vice president in here” and we see cage look up and smile and its the tumblr girl side kick all grown up and they have been president/vice pres together and they saved the country and everyone loves nicholas cage again and he got his redemption and became pres and brought america back to #1
TEH POSTS ARCHIVE
I started thinking today — why can’t I post? I mean, philosophically?
After a few hours of meditation on the subject, I snapped out of the fuzz I’ve been in and threw out every last drop of alcohol in my apartment.
I also threw out 1.5 ounces of weed.
I made myself an onion, green pepper, jalapeno and pickle omlette with a quartered orange on the side.
First healthy meal I’ve eaten in 2 months.
Today I begin a new life.
I also threw out 1.5 ounces of weed.
I made myself an onion, green pepper, jalapeno and pickle omlette with a quartered orange on the side.
First healthy meal I’ve eaten in 2 months.
Today I begin a new life.
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