[Twisty is pictured kind of stumbling around in an open field with a pack of dogs] *Movie trailer voice guy speaks* 

This Holiday Season…

[Twisty looks at a deer, or is it a loaf of bread in a bakery? Is this guy retarded?]

Twisty: “My time as a virgin is over.”

He dared do the impossible…

[A frog-faced, flat-assed asian teenager walks into the bakery he works at and orders some bread]

Twisty [talking to himself]: There is Cowboy Bebop. And Princess Mononoke. And what else? Oh. The Gameboy Advance. And Black Bible Saga. And the Sega Genesis. No… NOT the Sega Genesis.

Two races…

Frog-faced, flat-assed asian teenager: Herro, I’d rike some bread.

Twisty: I just make the bread. I don’t sell the bread. You will have to purchase the bread from my associate.

[Cut to Twisty outside his parents mansion, picking at some scabs and cryeing]

He just wanted an asian girlfriend

[Twisty is flying through a waterfall. Oh, no he isn't. He is pawing at a Samsung Galaxy S3, trying to remember his password to MrChewsAsianBeaver.com. I guess he was just imagining the waterfall? Who the fuck knows, this retard is autistic.]

Twisty [screaming]: I was not bitten autistic! I was born autistic!

Frog-faced, flat-assed asian teenager: Who sel bread here? [flustered] Herro? Who dis retard? Wheres bread manager?

But they stood in his way

[Action shot - Twisty is getting beaten up by a pack of middle school black children. "Take retard boy's pants." "They won't fit you!" "Who cares, nigga. Humiliate this retard." "Yeah!"]

Twisty [screaming, naked]: I am going to have to purchase a new Mr. Chew’s Asian Beaver account.

Twisty’s Mom: No. You are going to have to get electro shock therapy.

The saga ends…

[Frog-faced, flat-assed asian teen is seen walking down the street with some Materials Science Ph.D candidate from Chengdu]

Twisty [screaming, naked, picking scabs and surrounded by dogs in a field]: This was my last chance…[Hes crying, little idiot baby retardling]

[Twisty gets stepped on by one of the dogs, which looks like it is going to pee on him. Nobody know what chance he is talking about, 'last chance' and shit, that little retard autism loser. A bird freakeing poops right on his face and his parents roll up in a brand new Audi S6 to pick up their gay son. Everyone is crying.]

[Fade to black]

[12.21.12]