Uncle richard: prospecotr here was a marine, a real hardass

(I scoot my chair back and put my elbows on the table and sink my face into my hands)

Little cousin bobby: reaally??? How many people did you kill? Did you get an m4?? Wjats throwing grenades like??

(A huge sigh remembering what I once Was)

Me: please pass the cranberry sauce .

Grandpa: this turkey is under cooked.

Mom: i tried my best and if you dont like it you can leave.

Uncle richard: yeah you ungrateful old piece of shit. You want our marine to spartan kick you a gaping hole in that saggy birdchest?

Me: please just pass the cranberry sauce, mother this turkey is fantastic. Thank you.

Then my piece of shit brother that makes me look like an angel comes upstairs and rips a leg off the turkey and goes back down to his lair andd all you hear is machine gun fire and rank up music from cod and the occasional “bullshit i shot that fucker 30 times” and everyones just silent until dad says the turkey is really great. My uncle and little cousin keep asking me about gi joe stuff and i keep trying to tell them what rly goes on in the world and how 911 was planned etc

Little cousin bobby: so al quaeda isnt real?? Theyre not out there fighting for our freedom? The news is just mind control??

Me: Yes

Then i hear the fox.report with shepard smith come on the tv and i got up and being kind of smashed i hit the power button really hard but accidentally knocked the entire entertainment center over

Mom: i knew it, i akways knew you were screwed up in the head. This stops now. Tomorrow were taking you to the shrink

Dad: Thats right son

Uncle rick: thats a bad idea, thats a marine, a trained killer haha, he might KILL the psychiatrist!

At that point im actually genuinly filled eith rage and my brother kept yelling at xbox live kids and my moms crying about the turkey and my grandpa wont shut up about peoples manners when hes the fucker complaining about undercooked meat, my little cousins reality about troops being noble and good is shattered so he wont stop talking about usa corruption to this day (this was like 4 years aho and hes a hipster now thanks to me), my older brother is a dish washer at outback steakhouse and still lives in the vasement and we havt had a thabksgiving at our house since, this thanksgiving i called and my dad was talking about how he was on the way home from dennys with my mom and that everyones just fine etc,but it is what it is lol.