I had a “Bacon” phase for about a year. This was before Reddit’s “epic bacon” meme, or at least long before I ever heard about it. This wasn’t some attempt to be cool, I just found a love for J&D’s bacon seasonings (Bacon Salt + Baconaise) and the taste in general in and on food. Cue the plethora of bacon fads springing up. I was nearing the end of that phase at that point, but started getting the products that followed on Xmas and my birthday. Bacon lip blam, chocolate, t-shirts and soap were all things I didn’t want, wouldn’t use, and were terrible in general. I got the soap from two separate people. Apparently when people thought of what to get me, they thought of bacon.

I tried to act grateful over the past couple years, but this year I got bacon flavored candy canes in my stocking and I finally just had to make a declaration that bacon isn’t what I’m interested anymore, so please stop giving me it.