199 articles Articles posted in Reality

berlin clubs

the clubs i go to are of the berlin kind, with only unisex toilets, no mirrors anywhere and photography is forbidden. Condoms and fruitslices are free ar the bar. they let you in if you look interesting, and judging by your post ITT, they wouldnt let you in. you are the most basic fag i have ever seen

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thing for feet

i was watching To Catch A Predator on a youtube playlist on repeat all weekend and to get around copyright infringement or something the youtuber edited the episodes to play a clip of Chris Hansen saying “He seems to have a thing.. for feet” randomly during the episodes. After 5 or 6 hours of this my wife finally asked if I had a foot fetish. I pretended I didn’t hear her and went outside to water the lawn. It was 930 at night.

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very new atheist

I’m a very new atheist, but I really wanted this movement to be the most gentlemanly thing ever. Like we’re fucking walking down the street in thick bathrobes with our monocles in, teaching people about science, logical thinking, and taking long drags on a pipe in between answering tough questions.

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creepy clown is BLOWN UP

US student dressed as creepy clown is BLOWN UP after being chased into jungle filled with landmines

A creepy ‘killer clown’ has died after being chased by furious locals before reportedly stepping on a landmine.

The unfortunate man trod on the deadly trap after scaring residents in Samraong in northwestern Cambodia.

Locals chased the clown, which they thought was an ‘evil spirit’, into a nearby jungle and later heard a blast and realised the prankster had stepped on a mine.

Police were called but the man could not be identified as a result of his injuries.

He is believed to be a 25-year-old student who had returned from the US to visit relatives in the south-east Asian country.

Categories: Reality

Egg Club

In high school we had the Egg Club and you had to carry eggs around in your pocket and an innocuous word was chosen at the start of every day like “Sun” or “Book” and if someone said that you had to discretely take one of the eggs out of your pocket and drop it on the floor without anyone noticing that you did it. The winner was the one that was able to drop all of their eggs by the end of the day, so you would try to bait other people into saying whatever the key word was. Also if you were with another member of the Egg Club and someone said the other Key Word then you would try to get up to the other guy and smash his pocket full of eggs and then point to him and laugh and say Eggy Leggy. I think I spent about $500 on eggs that year.

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where’s the beef?

Third date, he’s making me dinner at his place, I get there, it’s the same shirt. Two weeks have gone by since the first date, I ask him if it’s a running joke, or was it just coincidence. He shows me his closet. Every. Single. Shirt. Every single one is that red “Where’s the Beef?” with yellow writing. He opens a drawer, even more of them, exactly the same. He says the ones in the drawer are a size bigger, for ‘around the house’ and ‘sleeping in’. He has a LOT of them. Probably about 20, I’m not sure. I asked why, he said he just really likes that shirt.

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celebrity sex list

You guys might be familiar with the concept. But my boyfriend wanted us to each make a celebrity sex list. In it, we could place any 5 celebrities we wanted, and if the opportunity ever came up, we could sleep with that person with impunity.
I said haha, but no thanks.

Well, he made the list anyway. And now I am extra annoyed. See, we both work for a PR firm in LA (that’s actually how we met), and all five women on his list were clients with our company.

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the living embodiment of randomness

Tonight, after wiling out something fierce on Final Fantasy VI, I decided it was high time for me to head over to my friend David’s apartment to see what was going down in the world of potsmoke and Comedy Central. David, Brad, and most of their friends really really love me, for some reason I can’t explain. They have come to see me as the living embodiment of randomness, crazy dances, and general tomfoolery. Whether I’m drinking or not, I tend to bring my best to them. 

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insider trading

How much trouble could we get in if I gave my cousin information about a stock from where I work? (self.legaladvice)
submitted 10 days ago by possibletroublethrow

I know there are laws against insider trading and I didn’t want to get in trouble for anything. So I gave my cousin the information I knew about my company stock. Now apparently there is an investigation because someone got suspicious and my cousin (with the same uncommon last name as me) has never bought stocks before so it looks weird. He did make some money from it and gave me 2/3 of it.
Location: New York

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street dealer

one time i was smoking weed with a street dealer in a little cosy spot in an alley, and cops rolled up to us cause some dude in an office building had spotted us smoking there daily and been calling them over and over. they did the standard ‘confiscating the weed’ and then cuffed the black guy and told him he was arrested. i wasnt arrested, but the dude searched me and opened up my wallet – finding a bunch of various class A drugs in there. speed, ketamine, mdma, etc. the dude then proceeded to ask me if the black guy had just sold them to me (he hadnt), and when I denied this he told me I didn’t have to protect him, and dragged the dude off into a cop car never to be seen again. i wasn’t even given a warning. the dude hadnt even sold me the weed. i was giving him weed.

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