Let me paint you a picture of the kind of havoc the Know it All Bitch can create. Everything is going as usual in class, the teacher is speaking monotone about the geography of the Persian Gulf, you’re looking around at the various girls in the class and stealing glances at the clock. The professor knows you’re looking, and you try to sneak a peak at your watch as well. Pretty soon the professor stops talking but no one really knows because of the side conversations and general disinterest amongst the students. What the hell is going on, you begin to ponder, as the professor drops his drawers around his ankles and begins to waddle to his desk. What the hell? He trips once trying to get on the desk and falls down making a loud crack but still no one seems to notice, or if they do they don’t care. He’s struggling to get up, do you go help him? I’m not sure. Help me Steven he cries weakly. Steven, come give me a hand. I need help Steven. Holy shit. You nudge the person next to you but they’re engrossed in their laptop, surfing various message boards and sportsball sites. Uh… okay… I climb down the aisles and make my way to the teacher, he’s begun to shit himself. He’s actually shitting himself and even though his pants aren’t around his waist some of the shit is dripping down the side of his ass cheek, leg, and floor, and eventually puddling into his pants. This actually smells like complete death and you’re not quite sure what to make of your visual and olfactory sensations, is my teacher dead? Is he shitting himself? No he’s shitting yourself, you realize. I’m being shitted on, there’s shit in my pants and for some reason I feel it. Nothing actually came out of my asshole or left my anus but theres shit now snuggled quietly and discretely inbetween the crevice of my ass cheeks and my tightie whities. I wore tightie whities today even though it’s Friday and I usually go to the bar directly after this to try to get laid? There’s no way I’m getting laid now, not with a bunch of my teacher’s shit in my own pants and I’m still not quite sure how it’s happening. The quick thought that this might be a dream left my brain three minutes ago when I poked my pen into my leg and it hurt pretty badly. Now I realize I was bleeding, except that the professor was the one who was bleeding. I poked my leg and my professors leg was bloody, and the blood and shit started to mix on the floor. What the hell? I flashback to a time when I was shitting uncontrollably in the tub, my mom asked what’s wrong. I’m shitting mom, of course I wouldn’t tell that to you. Nothing mom. She peaks inside and she sees the shit in the tub and realizes I’m currently shitting the tub and can’t stop. I’m not even taking a bath because it’s wednesday and I shower every other day. Is it really a shower if you’re sitting down? My mother doesn’t know I do this. What would she say if she knew I was shitting myself as my professor shat in front of my entire class? I kneel down and my professor is still shitting, theres a lot of shit. I dig my hand through the Jurassic Park amounts of shit to finally reach his anus. I pull really hard, creating a goatse effect. The shitting stops, my pants feel dry, my leg doesn’t hurt. Slowly one student, the know it all bitch in front of the class, looks directly at me and sees me grabbing my teacher’s ass and anus. Screams erupt from the class as I’m expelled for fondling and assaulting my teacher who was dying of epilepsy. This is just one of the ways that the Know it All Bitch ruins lives daily.