I’ve never stopped watching you, @fart. And I revel in this moment. Buzzfeed. “LOL”. “win”. “omg”. Is this what you wanted? Ensconcing yourself in irony for years, honing a style, leading a movement, only to emerge for.. Buzzfeed? You pal up with Fogelnest and decide that’s reason enough to cast off your ambition? That you’ve “made it”? Egg man? Don’t you remember your origins? How ridiculous you’d find this article not more than 9 months ago? @robdelaney, the visage and mascot of Weird Twitter, knows not the magic he plays with. Hamming it up for a rag like this is expected from him. He promotes himself reflexively. But you? Shame on me for expecting better.

While you parade around for reddit-tier Buzzfeed, I live life authentically on a dairy in Utah as an apprentice cheesemonger. I make the cheese. Do you know the discipline and precision required to make the cheese? Maybe. Once. When you understood what it meant to be discerning, what it meant to sweat. What it meant to be proud of what you do. To crave achievement. Now, though. “trashy”. “fail”. “wtf”. What happened?