12 articles Tag Haoma

iPhone 5 is born from a gossamer-thin sac somewhere in Guangdong Province

(Script, 403 words)

PANEL 1. A Chinese boy youth and girl youth wriggle into the sloppy uterine folds of a tiny chamber connected to a confusing web of medical tubes and pincer things holding it in place. In the background there is a Chinese boy adult holding a fairly impressive clipboard. The Chinese girl youth’s sand deposit butt is still sticking out kind of the flaps of the chamber’s entrance (the Chinese boy youth went in first, little mother fucker!) which is somewhat sexy but also a little revolting.

PANEL 2. Big bursts that are also giant and downright fucking electric of electricity electrifies the sticky gross inner folds, through some kind of injection of powerful energy which is maybe the derivative of fireworks but inconceivably scary. This is going through the aforementioned medical tubes at the speed of sound. Chinese boy adult behind the glass drops his clipboard, and his mouth is now wide-ass Asian open and kind of rounded, plus his eyes are bulging out of his glasses.

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i found a nest of indian and poked it

i found a nest of indian and poked it so long they swarmed out and tried to invite me to a delicious , ancient, meal and discuss our different cultural legacies!

i crushed their Queen Mother with my emerald green ionized TrailTrek (R) graphite telecoping hiking pole

Their stingers cannot penetrate my Goretex. Ba ha ha ha ha ha!

MY vitamin water is safe, untainted. It has been geocached 3 meters from camp

Greasy indian paws slide right off my MicroTec nanofiber walking shorties. BaKOW

Luckily my Amazon.com portable GPS/Kindle unit is stocked with the latest Facebook and Twitter auto-apps so that if one of their wretched mandibles gets lodged in my EcoQuench solar hydration canteen ALL my friends will simultaneously come to the grim realization that outside of Farmville… not all is well in the world.

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