Growing up in the nerd community I was taught to hate normals. But I knew I was normal since 3rd grade when we would sit around and play Pokemon every day and all I wanted was to play kickball. I hid it well, watching deep cuts like Serial Experiments Lain and listening to the Protomen to prove my dedication. I didn’t have time for that Bleach crap, I said, because I was too busy watching Kuragehime. Nichijou. Or so everyone thought. I was putting on polo shirts in my closet and lifting at a gym 5 miles away from any Gamestop During the day I stuffed my shirt to have moobs instead of peCs.

One day I went to a nightclub with some bros I met online. I lost my virginity without any PUA techniques while we listened to David Guetta. The next day I threw out my weights and my good denim. I thought about killing myself. I watched Haruhi and I felt nothing.

After a few years of suffering like this, I’m coming out. Im going to be me. I can only hope for your love and understanding as this must be hard for you to hear. My new best friend has frosted tips and well all I can ask is for your forgiveness in my living a lie. As McGreevey might say, my truth is that I am a normal American. Please accept the real pussy eating me as part of this family.