6 articles Tag INRI

YOSPOS posters

[A computer is performing a Turing test on a YOSPOS poster. The YOSPOS poster has a very small penis and is very smelly]

Computer: After repairing some incorrectly installed software on a computer at your workplace, you go to the coffee machine. As you wait for the cup to fill, you look out of the nearby window and notice a man breaking into your vehicle. How do you react?

YOSPOS poster: I go back to my cubicle and fuck my computer and cum in it

Computer: What is the logic. If you do not take action straight away then the man will leave with your Bon Jovi CDs and your folding bike. Are you at all emotionally affected by the man’s theft of your property?

YOSPOS poster: I fuck my computer and cum in it


Categories: Fiction, Reality  /  Tags:

the exact moment we fell in love

Thinking about it, I can probably pretty much pinpoint the exact moment we fell in love with eachother. She was pretty bummed about losing her adorable fukken catte a few weeks ago, but I was able to surprise her one day by showing up at her house along with the missing beast. You wouldn’t believe how excited she was. I’m an amateur taxonomist, so I exhumed it and stuffed it for her. She half-jokingly threatened to call the police to come and shoot me to death if I didn’t go away (I assume she was just joking/hinting at me that she wanted to spend some time alone with the cat).


Categories: Fiction  /  Tags:

So, you wanna work on a farm

So, you wanna work on a farm you stupid dick. well listen up

First off fucking forget about fucking not getting up at dawn mother fucker.

What you need to have are some chickens, n00b. Stats: They are made of chicken. But thats not all because eggs also come out of their ass holes

Cows are pretty big but since they ust eat grass there is no reason not to have a bunch of these badasses in your unit, shit head. If you jack them off you can get some milk

Oh, and the furry shit that sheep are covered in? Its the fucking stuff that motherfucking clothes are made out of! It grows on SHeep!! Ka ching


Categories: Fiction  /  Tags:

vice magazine in columbia

vice: were here in columbia and theyre growing big amounts of weed in this vast field behind us to sell for money. the smell is extremely potent. first off we are going to see see if we can get a sample to analyse back at the hotel to see if its as good as the weed from the episode we shot in south africa. miguel luis herrera lopez is our guide to this extremely lucrative business. he helps harvest the weed but insists he has never smoked it before

colombian: no smoke

vice: its so dank here. surely you get to smoke this very good weed for free every day

colombian: the soldiers say if we dip into the product that we are to have both our ears taken off

vice: admit it.. you sometimes secretly take a small part off of one of the weed plants and you smoke it. Haha you must do that due to the fact that this weed is so potent

colombian: is no possible. they know my sons jorge and rafael. they will cover them in tar and burn them

vice: but this pot is so high grade and dank. theres no chance of a sample?

colombian: is all to go to usa through mexico and to uk by europe through france tunnel

vice: haha fuuuuuck… shit haha. just kidding ahah. well viewers watch us next time as we attempt to get weed for free in mozambique


Categories: Fiction  /  Tags:

EMOTIONAL/UPLIFTING TRANCE MIX SUMMER 2013

i type EMOTIONAL/UPLIFTING TRANCE MIX SUMMER 2013 ino youtube and look for whichever 6 hour long mix has the sexiest woman standing on a beach in the little preview picture . then after that its smooth sailing and i dont gotta worry about skipping tracks or anything while i spend the rest of my day looking at pictures of night time city scapes or really close up photographs of crystals


Categories: Fiction  /  Tags:

Jeabis

well when Im not resetting and restarting my indie publishing startup kickstarter page every week, i work at wikipedia correcting syntax errors in the group of articles covered by the hub “list of landfill sites in the Republic of Armenia” even though i dont get paid for it and my name is Jeabis. all my clothes are slightly too big for me and everyone who talks to me walks away feeling slightly sadder afterwards. you can find my address in the “contact me” section of my webpage. Please come round to mine for pizza and star wars one day


Categories: Fiction  /  Tags: