3 articles Tag moonshine

i think i was a good trainer

another fun time that i miss was when i finally made captain and id have a really junior fo and id let him take the approach into a difficult airport or bad weather i would nearly always break sterile cockpit on approach and pick one of the flight attendants names who was on the flight if they had a wife or girlfriend and id be like “damn i still cant believe you fucked paula last night, and she gave you anal. that bitch is crazy, youre dicking everybody in this company, damn” and theyd be like wtf i didnt do anything and id be like yeah explain that to your kids when youre dead as fuck and theyre reading a cvr transcript you cheating fuck and then they would concentrate ultra hard on the landing i think i was a good trainer.


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dont cum in icecream

when i lived in miami i brought a girl back to my place and we hung out all weekend and shit and she bought icecream and ate like half of it and left it in the freezer and i dont eat icecream so it kinda sat there for a while. a few weeks later i was drunk and jerking off and thought lol ill cum in the ice cream why the fuck not, figuring hey ive got a nice trick to play on some girl now, my icecream with frozen cum in it.

well like the opportunity never presented itself even when my roommates sister came down for the weekend and i kept suggesting she have icecream. she never did.

theres no real point here except for the fact that i just remembered this AND I CANT REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ICECREAM. im sure that when i was moving out i would have seen the icecream and remembered it, but i am absolutely positive now thinking back that i didnt clean that icecream out of the fridge. the icecream had to have been consumed at some point. I like to think that it was another girl that I had brought home at some point, I also dated a girl for about 4 months in that timeperiod that would have been an acceptable person to have eaten the icecream – but theres some bad prospects… my roommate, my parents… my grandfather. fuck.

dont cum in icecream unless you put like a post it note on it


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the hayride

I was in college and we were doing this sorority/fraternity hayride thing and I wasnt going to go but a friend of mine in the sorority told me that another girl’s sister was in town and had nobody to go with and they didnt just want to leave her alone at the sorority house so i said i would go with her.

she seemed normal looking and stuff not hot but not like disgusting, when i met her before the ride i was already drunk and introduced myself, she was kind of just smiling and i thought she was shy and possibly high because she kept just looking around with these big bug eyes

we went to the hayride and like i was sitting next to her in the van and tried to make some smalltalk and she just kept saying “uh-huh” and shit like that and looking around i figured she was rolling or something. we got to the hayride and shit and it was like a big group so i was talking to a bunch of people and she was kind of just hanging out by me but not saying much. there was a keg set up and stuff and we sat around drinking, she didnt drink anything but she kept wandering off into the woods and her sister would go and bring her back to the campfire/keg, i just figured she was completely fucked up, no worries.

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