3 articles Tag Niki Fishsticks

embarrassing first dates

One day when my crush was over at my house with a couple of our friends, we decided to play spin the bottle. He had told everyone that he could make it so it landed on the person he wanted it to, so he spun it and it landed right on me! We went into the closet and turned off the lights. I leaned in to make out with him, but it was dark so I could just barely see where his face was. He started laughing and I realized that if we were making out he couldn’t be laughing! He turned on the lights and I realized that I had been making out with his chin instead of his lips! I nearly fainted! So my crush started painting my body, going up and down all over my body with his paintbrush fingers, he kept going, he kept whirling his fingers until I orgasmed over and over. His friends were stunned into silence, I woke up covered in a thousand colors and floating 60-70 feet above the ground in what I can only describe as a 9 foot wide rectangular disc. I can now sense the thoughts of birds and know who really runs the government. Please don’t pity me for I am beyond emotion now.

My school was putting on their annual play and I couldn’t get out of my costume. I asked my friend for help backstage, but when she pulled off my shirt my bra decided to come along with it. I flashed the whole backstage crew! I now work as a prostitute for animal human hybrids created by the department of defense to break the stalemate in Iraq and Afghanistan. Please pray for me.

One day I was in my math class and I was really excited because I had finally remembered to bring my red correcting pen. I turned to my friend and said, ‘Look what I brought to class today!’ She started laughing, and when I looked I realized I was holding a tampon! I heard laughing behind me and knew that it was my crush. I just looked forward and turned 10 shades of red. Then a cat jumped onto my desk and hissed in my ear a chinese scolding about impiousness. Talk about embarrassing!

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m4w, i saw u at the starbucks

m4w, i saw u at the starbucks, u had ur phone out and i had a convex back, i was the guy wearing the kind of pants that guys wear when theyre on really tall stilts, you sort of tripped on them and spilled your coffee, but was that all it was? pls email me

m4w we were married for seven years and i forgot your number and none of your relatives will answer my calls because i ended our marriage thru paperwork espionage + stealth moves i learned off tom clancy video games, but it turns out u still have all my priceless 1990s old school mtv show dvds w/o the orig music edited out. will xpost this to all other counties of north carolina because i forgot where you moved

You were holding a duck wing and I was standing near a small patch of tall grass that was white on bottom and yellow green on the top . you were so happy. i didn’t say anything because i’m shy. you were a dog

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Jamaican gold medalist Usain Bolt

A twelve foot high bronze statue of a bull rampaged through a graveyard, knocking over headstones, smashing mausoleums, rooting freshly dumped earth and exposing the dead to air. many fear that on the day of resurrection their loved ones will be degraded monsters. Eyewitness testimony has lead police to believe that the bull was not Jamaican gold medalist Usain Bolt


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