16 articles Tag WET BUTT

stop using toothpaste

Why are abrasives bad for your teeth?? I thought toothpaste was GOOD!!!!
TO quote carl mencia: dee dee dee! Have you ever not brushed your teeth? No? Notice how yellow your teeth are? Yeahhh, bingo buddy. Yeah buddhy – brak show. Toothpaste is what me and many other very cool cartoon avatar guys call “the silent killer of teeth”

Lol, so true. But what should i do about it?
Stop using it. Simple as that, bueller, lol. Watch adult swim on cartoon network

Amen. Damn good times. but What should I do instead????
Candy. Seriously, live the dream dude, the dream of eating candy for children when you’re still an adult. But don’t take my word for it, heres a graph of my depression


Categories: Fiction  /  Tags:

first time message in a bottle sender here

hey guys..first time message in a bottle sender here *ppl of mar de ajo/various other argentinian coastal cities chase me around with pitchforks screaming “kill the noob”* Ahhh lol.but for real, im a big fan of putting words on the sea, my name is kat (OMFG A GIRL ON TEH BOTTLE MESSAGEZ!!!!111!!!1!!one) and i hope to be hanging around here and washing up with other surprisingly cool ocean trash again soon


Categories: Fiction  /  Tags:

this is my shit for sure

u wheel out a luxurious greek dinner, pitas and all that

im looking it up and down..im shaking my head..nah man..thats not my shit

u wheel out a big american landscape painting from the frick collection

im looking at it..im checking out the guys in the boats in the back..im a lil touched..little mystified..but nah man..thats not my shit either

u wheel out Dog boner talking to jake fogelnest, theyre wearing “the cans,” theyre wearing t shirts, theyre just talking about whatever, laughing at their own jokes, for 1 hour 20 mins

im walking around..im catching a glimpse from every angle..im framing it with my fingers, making certain that this is my shit…im nodding..this is my shit for sure…close it up boys…


Categories: Fiction  /  Tags:

the bad retard son channel

me: i love you dad
dad: [pretending i didnt say anything, yelling to an otherwise empty home] hey has anyone seen the remote id like to turn the bad retard son channel off for once hahahaha


Categories: Fiction  /  Tags:

[laughs] Tiesto ftw

Reported the op for leaving out the apostrophe in “Dj Tiesto’s” and making me think, briefly, that there are multiple dj tiestos kicking ass all over the world & melting people into good trance from the sweet car drift videogame aural journeys

tiesto says tiesto ftw instead of greetings or goodbyes. he says “tiesto ftw. has the latest batch of fanclub letters come in yet” and his assistant says “yes mr dj tiesto, they are on your desk in your office” and dj tiesto says “thank you alison, you’re a doll. tiesto ftw”

Tiesto: Here im turning the knobs..hear that? Now im turning another one. hold on i have a new email, it says im the king of good pumping tokyo base jumper music

Interviewer: How do you use the computer for this very good shit?

Tiesto: I have a virus, it causes my computer to create the best music ever made. [laughs] Tiesto ftw

intercom: Paging dr tiesto, Dr tiesto to the ER, youre cooler than moby and also not gay, paging dr tiesto
Tiesto: Tiesto ftw. Where is the patient?
Nurse: dr teisto, you have to help, this man has turned retarded from listening to regular bullshit old music all the time, and pianos that are regular instead of neon space sunset style.
Tiesto: My god. Quick, go into my office, get the intense Autogiro demo vid i was scoring, and bring the reporters notebook that says “ideas for good sports car test driving soundtracks”
nurse: Tiesto ftw. [exit]
Tiesto: May Tiesto help us all.


Categories: Fiction  /  Tags:

If the glove does not fit

If the glove does not fit your hand is fat and you will always be a virgin and a faggot *johnny cochran walks around courtroom owning people with tiny glove*


Categories: Fiction  /  Tags:

nicholas cage movie

nicholas cage plays himself as nicholas cage and he wakes up one morning and the whole country suddenly hates him and he freaks out a lot and says like “why does everybody hate me” in a cage voice and he goes on the run and his only sidekick is this 15 year old ironic tumblr girl and shes the only person that likes him still and they have disguise adventures and narrowly avoid death at the hands of the mobs and theyre trying to make their way to DC to see the president and get answers and they finally get there (theres a falling out between them in the middle but they become friends again later) and it turns out the president did something really bad with policy and he pinned it all on cage and now cage is the enemy and the president laughs but it turns out the 15 year old girl was using her internet skills to broadcast the truth to the entire country and the president jumps out the window to his death (cage tries to save him and he says “You don’t need to do this”) and then fadeto black, time skip, and the tv is saying “president nicholas cage began his 4th consecutive term as president today, continuing our good times of prosperity” and he’s doing oval office biz in a president suit and he says to his assistant “karen can you get the vice president in here” and we see cage look up and smile and its the tumblr girl side kick all grown up and they have been president/vice pres together and they saved the country and everyone loves nicholas cage again and he got his redemption and became pres and brought america back to #1


Categories: Fiction  /  Tags:

Fourth grade

Fourth grade was the beginning of the end. my dad bought 20 lunchables for the entire month of april and they were all the ham sandwich instead of nachos, later that year i was sent to juvenile hall for wearing shorts in the winter


Categories: Fiction  /  Tags:

engineer your iphone

There’s a way to engineer your iphone to only play NIN shit on shuffle, the secret is to delete all the other gay songs off your iphone since theyre shit anyway lol. you can also change your friend kev’s name to trent altho its seriously annoying when u ask him about new H.T.D.A album and he says he doesnt know because hes just your friend kev and he talks about his parents divorcing again & starts crying


Categories: Fiction  /  Tags:

fam xmas table

Uncle at fam xmas table : *drops fork* whoops
me: “Fuuuuuuuudge” hahahaha
fam: Lol thats some good shit for sure
maynard james keenan: im glad you invited me to your xmas, this is some good shit all around, i will now read sections of the lateralus libretto for your fam


Categories: Fiction  /  Tags: