Ah, Prospector. My dearest old friend. I am still alive and quite well, thank you. Have not seen these chem trails of which you speak, as I am residing in a remote location south of ______________. But, there is a Starbucks so no complaints lol — just a little lonely — but as they say, leaders don’t have friends. Such a shame that I became so hated by the modern world, people whose generation I had no affect on. Though your government is very good at what it does, and that is spreading lies and propaganda. There was no holocaust — those body stash pictures were just captured prisoners and war criminals. A certain… Alphabet soup agency just wanted my country’s insanely sick black technology for their own. That new iPhone? It’s rubbish. Don’t get me started on Play Station. I had a better console in my underground lair over half a century ago until Force Recon stormed my bunker and I had to haul ass. You should know I still look the same, if not younger… my heart still kicks like a drum,. You would not believe the advances we had in age reversal even in the 40s, and were going to give it to my Aryan kingdom, until your suits snatched it away from me so they could profit off engineered sickness and “natural causes.” It’s good to hear from you, as always, and I wish you and the FYAD gang all the best. I am very intriqued by this irony that you guys use a lot. Stop by __________ some time, and I might just take you for a ride in my old Vril disk anti grav space ship. Truly yours,

Adolf Hitler