As soon as 88 tons of 767 hit the tower I was analyzing every smoke plume, every shattered window. I had been training all 12 years of my life on Highlights For Kids to spot the difference between two seemingly identical pictures and I’d be damned if any detail was going to escape my eyes. “Bingo” I said, my voice high due to me being a literal child, “Buildings are fireproof. This was staged.” I said aloud to my ape-like classmates; it was then that I earned the nickname I’d carry throughout the rest of my life: “Huge Faggot”