So, I’m going to be staying for a time in a post-apocalyptic hellscape, picking through the ruins of Neo-Eastbay and trying to avoid roaming rape gangs. I will have no food, water, shelter, or pockets and I will be missing half of one of my arms. The extreme doses of background radiation will cause my eyesight to fade, my hair to fall out in coarse tufts, and my skin to flake off in vast, painful sheets. I will be losing all motor skills and equilibrium, so I expect to be mainly dragging myself through toxic rubble, blinded and squealing, desperately using my baby arm to cross endless plains of human excrement. What Android tablet should I buy?