You can buy a Cake & IceCream Burrito at Qdoba, or a Cigarette & Tetanus Burrito for the grownups. There’s always room for Qdoba. Qdoba – Are you hungry? Come on over.

We’ve been expecting you at Qdoba. Hope you enjoy your stay.

If you’re here at Qdoba, you know what to expect. We let our restaurant speak for itself. Advertisements? $500,000. Knowing you’re getting a tasty treat with real sugar cane and churned, semisweet unhydrogenated fortified tortillas with real flour&vinaigrette on the top.

Why not stop over at Qdoba’s for a bite to eat? Qdoba is like your friend except he never bugs you for season tickets to a sports event or hits on your wife and children when you’re eating a burger with the dog. Qdoba – it’s always dinner here, and it’s friendly.

Get your ass over to Qdoba and take a whiff of the new scratch & sniff burrito. I know you’re going to buy one. Just hurry the fuck up and do it and maybe you’ll get laid since you’re not being a stupid pussy and not coming to Qdoba.

Qdoba is the home of the world’s first (and best) lemon slices. Enjoy them inside your burrito, in your soft drink, in your powerade or your brownie. Yes – we sell brownies. They aren’t spicy as much as… sweet. That’s right, we put real sugar in our brownies. It’s time to unbuckle the belt.

At the very least come get a cookie. I told my bro to look at their cookies. He looked at them. And he fuckin loved em! He could not believe that Qdoba had cookies until I called Qdoba and asked. It was like stealing breastmilk from a baby.

The next time you go out, make sure you only go to Qdoba.

Qdoba – the place to be seen when you want to eat food and drink lots of pop and water.

Even beer. What? You look positively spooked. You can’t believe Qdoba serves beer. You’re getting in your car and you’re driving to Qdoba and you’re calling everyone in your phonebook because it’s party time. You just heard about the new kickin place and it’s time to be popular with everyone in town and dis your wife a lot. You should steal her Oasis and Jewel CDs and play them on the way here. We’re too busy making food to talk.

Speaking of which, qdoba is the bomb for catering. Got a funeral? Is it halftime and you want to surprise the football team with some footlong RufflesTM ridges and a crust with spelt melk?

Get your sexy little ass over to Qdoba.

This is the gay spot. Cum on in at Qdoba.

Variety is the (adobo) spice of life. Qdoba – don’t be a boring piece of shit.

Qdoba is where Emilio Estevez hangs out sometimes and Horatio Sanz eats by the bathroom. If you’re interested in something besides all the good shit we have like burritos, soup and unlimited tater tots. We don’t really have tater tots. Sorry at Qdoba.

Qdoba loves to be held, pet and talked to. Qdoba will moan and gargle, but never grunt. Qdoba will evolve into Qdobaeotto at level 21. Qdoba can also drink at age 21. Coincidence? Qdobathinks not.

“Qdoba is the public eatery with big time fung shway and a great climate” – Bill Gates. Fur’real.

Qdoba guy with the big hat who is rich and hot? Yeah, that guy. Bet you he’s in line at Qdoba and you can go get him if you hurry.

Qdoba – ahead of being better at all the rest.
Qdoba – watch out. Your stomach might get full.
Qdoba – Eating our burritos is like having a sexy girlfriend – they both are tasty and hot.

Thanks for checking out. Mmm – toasted.