I’m a 32 year old white guy living in China. I’ve been here for 2 and a half years now and during that time met my Chinese wife. She started to live with me after 3 months without asking, saying she stayed over so much that we should just live together. She has been good at times and is like a nice pair of Jeanes, just fits comfortably, but don’t have a real connection to them. She would keep pushing me to get married and in Nov. She took the innatiative and got us married. She took me to the courthouse and we signed the papers. I cried that day.

I guess I’m writing now because I have huge fears of trying to trust her. She joked about being pregnant at 3 months into the relationship, she read my IM messages, and she now wants a baby very badly so we can get the visa sooner. She also wants to create a joint bank account.

Every step we take has made me anxious, nervous, scared, and at times at tears with myself. I also am not as attracted to her in bed and don’t want sex as much as I used to. I don’t know if it’s because of me or because of her.