3 articles Tag C. Cardigan

Balloon Man Fills Sky With Balloons

Chicago (AP) – The white clown came into town about 9 AM. He had the power to make colorful balloons appear. He entertained a crowd until 12 pm when onlookers say the sky grew dark with balloons. The balloons blocked out the sun. A strange wind blew through the city streets as the balloons continued to spread. The white clown is alone in the middle of the road now, everyone else is hiding inside. Police say the clown has not responded to gunfire.

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My Top 20 Dinner Guests

1. Bubble Ghost – I would like to meet Bubble Ghost to ask him who he was when he was alive and how he died. I would like to ask him what death is like…is it painful…?

2. Bernard – You might say “nerd alert” but I think he’s sweet…possibly the most misunderstood of the crew..he has a lot of skills and he’s dedicated to discovering Truth through science, something I can really respect. If that makes me a tuna head…then so be it!

3. McGruff – I need to feel safe. I need to feel like I can be safe in my home. I need to be able to relax and feel comfortable when I’m in my own home. This is why McGruff will come.

4. John Rambo – Rambo is misunderstood by Authority but he always fights for what he believes in…one of the only true patriots out there. Rambo will never forget his home, America, is worth fighting for..worth dying for. He loves it that much. The thought of meeting Rambo is a little intimidating..all I want to say is “thank you.” I would love to be friends, but he never stays in one place for long..

5. Winnie the Pooh – Sometimes you just have to laugh, and this little fella brings me belly laughs by the barrel-full. In case you haven’t guessed…we will be serving “hunny” at our banquet 😉


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Now We All Have Metal Skin

Seattle – The world has changed and we all have become metal men. The National World Metal Men Conference is being held in New York this week to examine the consequences. We are heavy, and can no longer sleep in our beds. We sink in the ocean. Our air planes will not work. We no longer need to eat or drink.

“There is no explanation for this” says Carl East Man, leading biologist. “No one will ever know what happened or why.”

We spend our days sitting outside. It is difficult to speak in our old languages. We cannot harm ourselves. Maybe it is no longer possible to die.

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