Jockey approaching no.1 place in the big race

ahhh yeah I’m doing it, I’m doing it, I nearly accomplished it. I’m going to be number one of the big horse race. Just need to hit this weird thin cow a few more times and I’ll get a fancy rosette and a kiss from the mayor. Yeah yeah I love this I’m going nearly as fast as a terrible car

Tv horse correspondent: well, youve won all the biggest racing trophies in the land, bagging yourself a tidy $5 million and all the slop your beast could eat. How do you feel [jabs mic sharply forwards]
Jockey [in a fake happy voice]: Yeah, this is definitely better than being tall. I don’t even care about that.

Jockey: I’m going to ride you like a filly in heat
Wife: Oh god, none of the horse stuff tonight please. We were having such a nice time.
Jockey: roll on your stomach I want to sit on top of you
Wife: Thomas I’m begging you. Please.
Jockey: *sweating* feed you oats after, from an old bag

Ahh.. the freedom of going in a straight line all day, the fresh air of sitting on top of an animal that shits and farts all day, the excersise from sitting on a big moving chair all day, the emotional companionship of an animal tgat has to be stopped from looking to the side because otherwise it would run into a fence and die instantly

[whispering to the horse] youd be nothing without me motherfucker. youd be glue without me. dont forget it.

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You know, I had sex on foam once.

I looked down at the floor. It was foam. I chortled on the Moon.

“This foam… You know, I had sex on foam once.” Then, quieter, just to myself, “With a beautiful Japanese wife.” My mind suddenly flashed back to the sex I had on foam once with a beautiful Japanese wife.

Her skin was like origami paper. Her lips were like Japanese fish you see in old paintings and woodcuts, etc. Her breasts were like two moons.

“I was just sixteen, but it was cool instead of creepy, because I’m a boy.” I lit a Moon Light, the moon cigarette, with a flick of my runes. “A boy named hilary.”

“That’s what this foam reminds me of,” I finished, pulling myself back to the conversation at hand. I couldn’t spend all of my time lost in my head, imagining something far from reality. Not when there was moon treasure to find.

Categories: Fiction  /  Tags: