17 articles Tag Prospector

i just want to be one of the guys

New jobs going great, reintegration into society is rough & making a lot of friends but its so painful. Every coworker has Whatsapp, first thing I did after I remember I had it installed was change my pic from Adolf hitler to a “cool” selfie. Think like “The c00L Guy” mixed with a bit of cold seriousness. Lol. Working on fake lahghs on master chief collection lobbies, someone at the kuerig machine will reference the office or colbert vid the next day etc, have to come off genuine ive fucked this up before by looking to jaded. “AaHhaha whats wrong newguy, no sense of humor??? How about i toss a phantom fireworks smokebomb into the upstairs lounge, flushing u all out downstairs into the snackroom where im waiting w a modded M1A socom that accept drum mags lmfao, i will fucking laugh genuinly then. til then its just agonizing ‘ahah’ and chuckles when someone brings up how some qb ive never heard of fumbles a ball. hard to turn the convo into how about ghost in the shell was fromfucking 1995, and look at the world now, I usually get a meme on my whatsapp and I reply w/ “Lel” or ‘lulz where u find this shit ‘ (pretending to not know eveyrhting), lmaooo, etc, every kek killing me inside slowly, like being a MGS4 clone, but instead its a cutcopy of someone from society., i just want to be one of the guys.

Categories: Fiction, Reality  /  Tags:

pretty typical christmas

Lmao but really, it was a pretty typical christmas.  tried to do the thing where u get all nostalgic and play all the old games you used to on past christmas breaks. but itd been so long since i last blazed and all the other sh*t going on i just couldnt pull my self up by the boot straps to click a .exe or put a old disc in.  well i could have don that but sold all my old systems + games for scratchoffs lmao.  i did actually loot my junk drawwer in a last ditch attempt to find a smokeable abount for a bowl.  which turned out to be a jellybean sized mass of shake & scratch off flakes (this literally took like an hour).after finding my old bucket bong oin the side yard covered in mold & dirt and hosing the mosquito nest out i got absolutely ripped .  fired up skyrim and spent like 2 hrs trying to find the top of the mountain but holy shit , it was just surreal… til i realized i didnt completely uninstall the nude mod from years ago and was geting pummeled by an ice troll w/ a 2 foot weiner lmao.  3 hrs later im eating breakfast w/ relatives, i cant stop thinking of “top kek” & other memes for some reason, everyone asks what im thinkin about and if i wasnt stonned i prob would have justtried to explain top kek, lel, lulz , unironically,but i was able to stop myself and just say what a great christmas its been.,

Categories: Reality  /  Tags:

I basically hate everyone, lol.

Hello, retard here. I basically hate everyone, lol. I am unable to say things like “Man what an awesome play,” while watching the game because I find it too boring to watch — I have no interest in makeing due references to pop culture phenomena, like saying catchphrases or talking about a players stats. I lack the cognitive capacity to carry on a small conversation or appreciate the novelty of briefly interacting with another human being. I cant even laugh and be like “lol, excelent commercial” because I despise the cunts who skate through college and suck their way up the corporate dick ladder so they can make an advertisement with a funny “premise” or slogan that they probably thought of 5 minutes before the big meeting because they were out gold digging for a nice rich cock instead of working on their project that night. Fuck this culture, fuck your team I hope they lose, and fuck u. Your favorite player is a faggot and your gay. Die die die die die die die I hope you get roofie raped and then shot in the back of the head at the night club, which I wish I coukd rig with C4 and laugh from a roof top as I blow it up with a sick remote just like the Punisher does in Punisher 2003 and laugh hsterically as all the drug addled and drunk retards scram around mindlessly crying for their lives and saying stuff like “What kind of sicko would do something like this.”. I would, and just did, you retarded fucking sheeple.,

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my younger brother is also a budding failson

my younger brother is also a budding failson. she has 4 or 5 separate sets of crockery but usually doesnt have enough for more than 2 people to eat at a time because there are anything up to 30 plates in his bedroom that are sitting on the floor with mold growing all over them. every few months he asks for some kind of expensive gadget and she agrees to buy it on condition that he lets her clean his room. he doesnt even do it himself. he just sighs and yells about what an inconvenience it is to him, and that he was going to do it soon anyway. the process takes all day and she disinfects everything multiple times with boiling water before running it through the dishwasher. last time he left an upturned pizza on the floor for so long that the carpet had to be replaced. she paid for his grotesque on line girlfriend to visit from another country hoping that it would spur him to live like a human being but all that happened was their combined fatness broke his bed and she broke up with him immediately upon leaving. he sleeps on an uncovered mattress on the floor which has a large brown smear on it. the dog has a similar arrangement but his bed looks and smells much better.

Categories: Reality  /  Tags:

Saw enough shit for one day

Saw enough shit for one day. Linksys took a .50 round and a couple of mechanical keyboards were destroyed in an ambush. The realization that I`m not invincible is slowly kicking in. But with a 9 volt, some detcord, and a couple of magnets attached to the steel mousepad I have in my plate carrier, I believe I will be able to create a sort of electromagnetic deflection field so my enemy`s fire will just curve around me. I`ve ran the raw data past the boys in yospos and so far we still have a green light. Hell, I`ve used wired mice as grappling hooks when tossed into the right nooks. Even if I’m caught I figure the boys in black will give me a job in some blacked out line of work and I will get my pension.

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Got it all planned out

Got it all planned out — it is quite perfect. I`ve been running MW3 to keep the twitch reflexes in check, and have also been extensivly playing Battle Field just as a reminder that you gotta lead moving targets, and that guns just don`t shoot magic laser bullets lol. I`ve recently come across an abandowned warehouse 1-2 mi. away from my current undisclosed location, and I`ve turned it into a kill house, full of mazes & targets — with a soda bottle taped to the muzzle, no one can hear me conducting by own special recipe of tactical training haha. Also custom mapped the building in Source engine editor, making sure to set the +runspeed variables realistically, as to ensuring my timeline is accurate. So, here it is:

0 min- Walk threw the front doors of the building I work at, headphones on, cuz I`m the new janitor and they think I`m weird anyway. Just pushing my janitor cart around lol..

2m31s- Am on the roof now, everyone thinks I`m in the basement fixing a leak, which will lower suspicion by a significant amount.

3m21s- Nestled into a good shotting position over looking wall st. SlipKnot is blasting my Sennheisers — about to unload once the breakdown kicks in.

3m55s- OK its the breakdown, Fuck coreys voice is amazeing. I`m unloadin on every suit & tie weareing robot peace of shit that ruined this countrys economy with their schemes. Hopefully plinked at least 20 jews. Im loseing track of time, changeing mags I say to myself, not realizing Ive been going at it for 4-5 minutes, OK the cops are showing up.

8m57s- Brakeing down weapons system & returning to the basement.

10m11s- Comeing up from the basement now… acting shocked and terrified at what happened. Say stuff like >”Id kill that motherfucker if I find him,” to lower if not completely remove suspicion once again.

8h24m22s- Back at home now,going to watch the news & post, lol.

Categories: Fiction  /  Tags:

A letter from Hitler

Ah, Prospector. My dearest old friend. I am still alive and quite well, thank you. Have not seen these chem trails of which you speak, as I am residing in a remote location south of ______________. But, there is a Starbucks so no complaints lol — just a little lonely — but as they say, leaders don’t have friends. Such a shame that I became so hated by the modern world, people whose generation I had no affect on. Though your government is very good at what it does, and that is spreading lies and propaganda. There was no holocaust — those body stash pictures were just captured prisoners and war criminals. A certain… Alphabet soup agency just wanted my country’s insanely sick black technology for their own. That new iPhone? It’s rubbish. Don’t get me started on Play Station. I had a better console in my underground lair over half a century ago until Force Recon stormed my bunker and I had to haul ass. You should know I still look the same, if not younger… my heart still kicks like a drum,. You would not believe the advances we had in age reversal even in the 40s, and were going to give it to my Aryan kingdom, until your suits snatched it away from me so they could profit off engineered sickness and “natural causes.” It’s good to hear from you, as always, and I wish you and the FYAD gang all the best. I am very intriqued by this irony that you guys use a lot. Stop by __________ some time, and I might just take you for a ride in my old Vril disk anti grav space ship. Truly yours,

Adolf Hitler

Categories: Fiction  /  Tags:

I still remember the day Layne Staley died like it was yesterday.

Me and my friend Paul were making fun of the spanish kids with velcro shoes in 7th grade shop class and next thing I know the loudspeaker goes off and has the guidance counselor on ittelling me to report to the office, I go in and my uncle Darrell who I havent seen since I was a toddler was standing there with this look of emptiness and shit. “Get in the car dude,” he said and I am thinking the worst has happened. Well I ask what was wrong and he just looked at me and said, “Layne OD’d,” and I asked him who the fuck that was. He took out a cassette and popped it in the tape deck, cranked the volume up, and passed me a joint even though he knew I never smoked before. We took off and Alice in Chains – The Rooster played all the way thru, we were both stoned silent the whole time and my mind was completelyblown. “That singer is dead now man,” and from there on out I have just had this insane outlook on life.

Categories: Fiction  /  Tags:

we haven’t had a thanksgiving at our house since

Uncle richard: prospecotr here was a marine, a real hardass

(I scoot my chair back and put my elbows on the table and sink my face into my hands)

Little cousin bobby: reaally??? How many people did you kill? Did you get an m4?? Wjats throwing grenades like??

(A huge sigh remembering what I once Was)

Me: please pass the cranberry sauce .

Grandpa: this turkey is under cooked.

Mom: i tried my best and if you dont like it you can leave.

Uncle richard: yeah you ungrateful old piece of shit. You want our marine to spartan kick you a gaping hole in that saggy birdchest?

Me: please just pass the cranberry sauce, mother this turkey is fantastic. Thank you.

Then my piece of shit brother that makes me look like an angel comes upstairs and rips a leg off the turkey and goes back down to his lair andd all you hear is machine gun fire and rank up music from cod and the occasional “bullshit i shot that fucker 30 times” and everyones just silent until dad says the turkey is really great. My uncle and little cousin keep asking me about gi joe stuff and i keep trying to tell them what rly goes on in the world and how 911 was planned etc

Little cousin bobby: so al quaeda isnt real?? Theyre not out there fighting for our freedom? The news is just mind control??

Me: Yes

Then i hear the fox.report with shepard smith come on the tv and i got up and being kind of smashed i hit the power button really hard but accidentally knocked the entire entertainment center over

Mom: i knew it, i akways knew you were screwed up in the head. This stops now. Tomorrow were taking you to the shrink

Dad: Thats right son

Uncle rick: thats a bad idea, thats a marine, a trained killer haha, he might KILL the psychiatrist!

At that point im actually genuinly filled eith rage and my brother kept yelling at xbox live kids and my moms crying about the turkey and my grandpa wont shut up about peoples manners when hes the fucker complaining about undercooked meat, my little cousins reality about troops being noble and good is shattered so he wont stop talking about usa corruption to this day (this was like 4 years aho and hes a hipster now thanks to me), my older brother is a dish washer at outback steakhouse and still lives in the vasement and we havt had a thabksgiving at our house since, this thanksgiving i called and my dad was talking about how he was on the way home from dennys with my mom and that everyones just fine etc,but it is what it is lol.

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Life is just this wild ride

I deleted my Facebook, said goodbye to my cat, and dropped 6 hits of Acid. Took my father’s corvette for a nice joyride on I40 from Albuquerque, NM all the way to Cali. Started to trip hard as balls in AZ. Just fucking flying, only stopped for food and piss breaks. The mountains were just sparkleing, I was just like, it finally hit me, that Life is just this wild ride and you can really do whatever you want. Ran out of gas outside of Needles tho cuz I thought the maxed out speedometer was the gas level, rofl. Called my parents crying and apologizing still triping a little bit and they drove out to get me . Came home and there was a brand new limited edition GeForce Titan with DualMaXX+ 120mm fans and a sick 8 core i7, was so stoked I didnt even notice the Asus mobo. Had the most insane flashback and just ran FarCry 3 sliders all the way right, ultra across the board, and just thought, dthis is better than life.,

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